i've recovered
so you won't find my piles
upon piles
of dirty laundry stacked underneath my bed
where the rags still sit
wrinkled in a ball
nearly furrowed in the ground
the ones that I've leaked my
accumulating
watery
tears.

You were so similar to a newborn child
spending only a couple of days
sleeping sound
and then dying a terrible death
leaving those parents conflicted with feeling
Complete loss of a child
And not knowing who the child was
really, really knowing.
It isn't something that one can achieve in two days
two weeks
two years

I stepped onto the persian rug
and the threads were so soft underneath my toes
my feet felt itchy
but it was the good kind where
the itch that I needed scratched
was finally -
The rug has been pulled from underneath
and I have fallen to the ground and hit my head
everything becomes fuzzy
and I am laying in what appears to be
red water
or blood?
I stand up, and grab the persian rug
and attempt to sop up the red water
because it is only red water
I'm in denial
and I begin to stand on the rug
but it feels different
And then I realize that
this persian rug is not even in the same house
that you're in.